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Reader warning…what follows is an off-topic rant! 

So what is it about jeans these days. Why is it that I have to plan to have at least 4 hours to try on jeans to find a pair that fit!  I remember the days when I could walk in pick up a pair of Levi's 28 slims, take 'em home and they fit perfectly. Ahhhh….nostalgia. Not anymore. The last time I bought jeans, I bought 3 pair, as I was not interested in doing this dance for another 5 years and guess what, I bought the same size for all three and each one fit differently! Go figure. 

These days i need a Gen-X dictionary of terms to understand the size and style charts. Size 0r, 28 (2r). Styles:  Curvy, Sexy, 1969, Lean and Mean. So when I walked into the GAP store, I decided to take a new tactic, quick and painless, ask for help! I walked up the first sales person I encountered. Alas, he was of the male persuasion and it's not his fault, I just don't think they have this issue. He did in fact attempt to decifer the code for me-without a smile I might add-but I could tell, he just wasn't into me, "You know, Curvy is for curvy. Long and Lean are for people who are slim and tall, Boot Leg aren't as wide, Always Skinny, Boyfriend etc..." He then turned on his heels, spun around and left me to my own devices. So, I did what any intelligent female shopper would do, I pretty much grabbed one of every style in what I determined to be my most current GAP size and one size larger and smaller and headed into the fitting cave. 

I peeled off my old jeans and took a deep breath, strengthening my resolve for the task ahead. And we're off! Needless to say the first pair I tried were the Tall and Lean, they came up to my ankles and I'm only 5'4! What's up with that?  After going through the current pile of offerings, I had to make a decision, leave now, drive the hour back home defeated, or grab my purse and head back out into the main store donning ill fitting jeans for all the world to see, and grab a new pile of styles and sizes. This is when I opened the door to my personal fitting cave and met Lucy, the heroine of this sad tale. I must have looked quite dejected, as she smiled when I pleaded, "Do you work here?" 

With Lucy's expert help I narrowed it down to size and two styles in under 10 minutes. She was ringing me up in just about 20, which is some kind of 10 year record for me! While she was ringing me up-a very satisfied customer-we joked about jeans and the people who design them. She told me the Gap's new campaign is based on the fact that their company had grown kind of stale, "They were kind of like wearing your mother's jeans." She explained the company went back in time and determined that 1969 was the year their jeans were really hot-I didn't know this trivia, as I was wearing Levi's-so they have restructured and redesigned their line of jeans taking into consideration, that we gals, have an aversion to becoming our mothers and conversely, we still want our butt's to look hot. Imagine that! 

I have to say, the Gap is pretty close for me. Decent prices (only in the realm of jeans costing under $70.00) and an okay fit except still tooooo tight in the thighs! And so in the hopes of helping to further the jean designer industry, I have an appeal:

Please, Designers, hear my prayer, I am a pretty hip, adult woman who doesn't want to "wear her mother's jeans,". I don't want to pay hard earned bucks-especially these days-for shredded at the knee, torn at the ASS, worn thin jeans.  Please, please I beg of you, give me a good ol' pair of comfy, never want to take off, live in jeans. And while we're at it, how 'bout  a 1/2 inch more room in the thighs, so they don't look or FEEL painted on and actually release when I stand up, without me tugging them down. And last but not least, I am not 14, I am an adult woman, who's proud of her athletic almost 50 body. A body with muscle and yep…some new found curves.