JOURNAL ENTRY:This was the spot I chose to meditate during our hour long reflection. As I sat in silence, I listened to the sounds of bird calls. Suddenly, a Red Tail Hawk took flight, screeching his prayers to the skies. He circled around for about 5 minutes and landed in the Evergreen you can see in the distance. He sat on the top of the tree crying out for the next hour…..
There are times on the trail when the road gets a bit rocky and we wonder if we can stay with our commitment. Yesterday, I completed a 10 month commitment to Roaring Fork Leadership, a training program to support individuals in becoming leaders who will go forth and contribute to their communities.
To be honest, about half way through I had thoughts of dropping out. The book had just released and our group project felt like mud going through a very small funnel. I talked it through with a friend who actually supported me in letting it go, however after thinking about it, I knew that the place I was in, was all part of the process…the process of committing to myself and something else. I had been given a partial scholarship to attend, so this weighed on me, as I knew that if I dropped out, it was a slot lost for someone else. I will tell you that was not what weighed on me the most.
What kept arising for me was the awareness of an old habit-thankfully an old, old story that no longer fit me. When the going got tough, I used to quit. It was easier then facing what felt like a daunting task. My life here in Colorado has actually helped me with this one particular nasty habit. Living so closely to nature has taught me perseverance and how to stick it through when the going gets tough. As a result I have discovered the personal growth that comes out of leaning into the things that aren't always comfortable.
Yesterday I woke up feeling relieved to be complete with my commitment. Much to my surprise, by the end of graduation day, I had an ache in my heart when I realized I would not be gathering next month, with the 39 amazing people I had come to know. Imagine that!
SHARE: What happens when you lean into the places you most want to resist?
I am off to pull a Tranformation Card….will you join me?