We’ve made it through Christmas and New Years, and we’ve had about 4 weeks to breathe a sigh of relief and now it’s that time of year, the ultimate reminder that we have either chosen a life alone, were recently widowed, or have gone through a divorce, separation or break up…
Yep, it’s Valentines Day.
Here’s a journal entry that I wrote in 2014, following my separation from my husband, when I had a brutal encounter with some red balloons.
And how I learned about SELF-love.
I hope this post will help you create your very own Self Love letter and personal Self Love Manifesto! Make sure you read all the way to the bottom for a ritual and a free gift for you!
Enjoy and Happy SELF-LOVE Day to ya!
A Love Letter to mySELF and to Solo Flyers Everywhere
Today is Valentines Day, the day of love and lovers. Officially speaking, the day bears the name of St. Valentine, martyred and buried North of Rome. As if being a martyr wasn’t bad enough, to make matters worse, he was removed from the General Roman Calendar in 1969 and entered into the official register of the Roman Martyrology. Yet somehow, some ad exec on Madison Avenue found a way to create a day, that celebrates not the man, but the concept of love, or at least their idea of what LOVE is.
Today, SELF, is our first Valentine’s Day in 20 years, as a solo flyer.
Today, I innocently I walked into the grocery store to purchase food stuffs – you know the thing you usually get at the market – without consciously realizing the time of year.
As the automatic doors slid open, I was visually assaulted by an enormous arch of red balloons which revealed themselves to me as the doors slid open, unveiling stuffed animals, roses and chocolates as far as my eye could see. There was absolutely no way around it, but to go through it, as they say.
Really??? Talk about in your face! My take home message:
“You are now officially alone!”
Who knew the consequence of picking the wrong day to pick up tomatoes would be a scorching reminder that I was now officially single, aka “alone,” as if the millions of commercials, about diamonds, hearts, chocolates and flowers, hadn’t already made it abundantly clear that on February 14th, there would be…
I never made it through the enormous archway. As the tears formed in my eyes, I turned tail, ran back to my car, and posted about it on Facebook.
It took a bit of time, a lot of tears and some intense visual journaling, to find my way home,to the SELF that is me without an “other.” The self that is good enough, beautiful enough, smart enough, talented enough and best of all able and willing to stand tall and with grace without a partner.
It was a BIG learning and one that has served me well.
So this Valentines Day, I am taking a stand for mySELF and all of us flying solo by choice, by loss or by decree. I have a little gift for you, a Self-Love Manifesto.
Above, you’ll see the canvas I created for mySELF this year. It makes me smile each time I look at it, and serves as a remembering.
I have placed it beside my mirror, so I see it every day as I look at my reflection and brush my teeth!
I wish you all a very Happy Valentines Day, however you’ll be spending it. In case you’re flying solo, below I am sharing a Self Love Ritual for you to love yourSELF up. I hope you’ll use it and then create your very own Manifesto!
Here’s to all of us solo-flyers this Valentines day! May a million mirrors shatter the illusion that we are not LOVED and that we are not LOVE.
With LOVE + Gratitude,